Dining Out: A Paradox for My Daughter with Autism

Dining out with family has always been a source of both joy and stress in our lives. My daughter, who is autistic, is a true foodie—she loves exploring new flavors and gets genuinely excited about a good meal. But the journey to the restaurant? That’s another story entirely.

Some of our worst moments as a family have come from trying to eat out. The anxiety starts before we even leave the driveway. My daughter has had full-blown anxiety attacks in the car that spiral into tantrums, leaving us no choice but to turn around and go home. And just as we’re back inside, the cycle begins again—she insists she wants to go to the restaurant, only for the anxiety to kick in as soon as we get in the car. It’s exhausting, and it’s left all of us in tears more than once.

The sensory challenges of restaurants—blaring music, bright lights, unpredictable noises, and social interactions with staff—make every trip a gamble. Yet despite the meltdowns and anxiety, some of our best family memories have been made over a shared table. When things align just right, and she’s able to enjoy the food and connect with us, it feels like magic.

This paradox defines so much of our experience as a family. Dining out is both the best of times and the worst of times, but we keep trying, knowing that those moments of joy make the struggle worth it.